Wonder Five

I've been lying here for the past 45 minutes in amazement over the concept of change. In the past, change was just something that occurred and I recognized as something that happened but it just wasn't a big deal. In looking back over where I was at this time last year, my state of amazement grows. When you hear, "a lot can happen in a year", you doubt it. You know things will change, shift around. But most likely it won't faze you too much. Or you won't be in awe over it like I am tonight.


This time last year, I was enrolled as a full time student at a university and was preparing for the following. I lived in away from home and was looking into places to live after the semester concluded. I wasn't employed, I had plenty saved up and was fortunate to have my parents support me. I had two best friends and I saw one of my best friends everyday, sometimes all day everyday. I was in a serious relationship. I didn't have a concrete, close knit group of friends.
Over the course of this year I've experienced the most change (without getting too in depth and too personal)... Changing schools, changing majors, changing goals. Moving home, getting a job, losing a job, losing a best friend. Realizing my dreams, realizing reality. New people, new fun. Friend drama, family drama. Experiencing heartbreak, deception, frustration, excitement, joy, nostalgia, bliss.
Now, to keep it short and sweet, I'm on a semester long break from school. I don't know what I want to do nor how or where to do it. I live with my parents. I'm completely and utterly broke and just recently became employed. My parents, due to difficult economic times, have just about cut me off. My best friend and I hardly ever see each other, at times it seems impossible. I'm no longer in a serious relationship. And lastly, I have a close knit, crazy, concrete group of friends that has become almost like family.

There have been bumps and detours along this road of a year, some that lead to good change, some that lead to bad. But all in all, through the amazement of how much has occurred in one year, I'm glad the change happened. Just like this quote from Arnold Bennett, "Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” I still have lots to figure out, learn, earn, and achieve. Yet, I feel I'm closer to getting my head situated (somewhat), and continuing to move forth. This time last year, I was lost. With the obvious things like career choices, future plans. But I as a person was lost. And although today I can't say I'm not lost or confused, I can say I'm more prepared for it than I was a year ago. I'm becoming more content on the person I am and the person I want to be.

So bring on the change. I can only take it the best I can and learn from it in the end. After all, everything happens for a reason.


Good night & day,
Jovana